The Name Game
We’ve officially started making a list of potential names for Flippy. This shit is HARD, yo. We had Lyla’s name picked out really early in my pregnancy with her. I knew when we went for our gender ultrasound that if she was a girl, we’d be walking out knowing she was Lyla. Her middle name was going to be my maternal Grandmother’s name and that was also a non-discussion point so she was Lyla Marguerite before I was even half-way through my pregnancy. This time we walked out of our gender ultrasound knowing two things, 1) we were having another girl and 2) we were no closer to a name for her than we were when we walked in.
We kept Lyla’s name a secret until she was born. I pretended to be on the fence even though I wasn’t. There was no fence. Her Godmother guessed at her name despite the hugely vague clue I gave her when we were painting the nursery. Her Aunt Cass knew because when you’re pregnant at the same time as one of your best friends, you have to make sure you aren’t going to use the same name. That was it. Everyone else was in the dark. I liked it that way, but I was also very confident in her name. I love it. I knew it was unique enough yet not weird. It has a great sound and an unmistakable spelling. I couldn’t see anyone turning up their noses when I said her name.
I’m having a hard time coming up with another name with this much confidence. And here’s the thing with naming a kid. People and the turning up of their nose downright piss me off. My parents are the WORST offenders. The same two people that came really close to naming me something else in 1977 and changed their mind because my mother’s father likened the name to some dirty New York state politician from 1940 or some bullshit. His negative association was enough to have my mother change her mind. And I don’t think she ever forgave him for it. And yet she’s STILL mad at me for not telling her what Lyla’s name was before she was born. Hmmm. WONDER WHY.
We’ve been a little more open this time around with sharing the name possibilities. I felt like it was okay to do this because I didn’t have my heart set on anything, but I WAS WRONG. It’s making it harder and it’s making me even more aggravated.
We have our short list. Nothing is grabbing us as awesome and naturally, one of the eight grandparents of this child will have a problem with one (or all) of them.
Here are some requirements:
- I’m not a fan of names that can be shortened. Very few people are allowed to call me Ally and if someone that doesn’t have that privilege attempts it, you can actually WATCH the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I chose Lyla because I thought this fit that requirement. My father and mother-in-law have both proved me wrong and have called her “Ly” on more than one occasion. I try not to visibly cringe in front of them.
- IF it’s a name that can be shortened, I have to love the short version. Amelia/Mia is on our list. I like it, but it is growing in popularity and I would hate for this baby to be one of five Mia’s in her Kindergarten class.
- Our last name is “Cain” (spelling changed). I feel like any hard C or K names are out. Also, I’m not a fan of any one syllable first names because I feel like it makes the last name run into it. And the first person to suggest “Candy” as a bad joke, gets blocked.
- We have a big family and very creative people that have used some really awesome first AND middle names. If I love it, chances are IT’S TAKEN.
- Have shithead celebrities forever ruined names like Lindsay, Heidi, and Britney? Are those really automatic outs?
- What about blog friends? Could I get accused of stealing names if one of my online friends named their child that a year or two ago? What’s the rule here?
- The middle name will either be Michelle or Allyson depending on which goes better. With most of the names on our list, Michelle works best. I think it’s just generally a better middle name.
So go for it. Seriously. I’m tapped out and aggravated and sick of people and their negative reactions. The name Lyla is a tough act to follow. I think I set the bar pretty high. Oh, and we didn’t have our heart set on any boys names either so even if Flippy was going to be a boy, we’d be in the same boat.
And if you have any advice for dealing with the nose-turner-uppers, please share!
No advice, just a “you’re not alone.” My mom practically SPIT on some of my all time favorite names! The second time around…..come hell or high water- it will be a secret!
Ann´s last blog ..On the road to English
June 13th, 2010 | #
Names are so difficult if you don’t already have “the one” in mind. For girls, I seem to go to literature a lot. Pretty much every Jane Austen name is good for me, and would be lovely with Lyla. If our 3 month old boy had been a girl, her middle name would have been Elinor. I also like names that honor people, but aren’t necessarily the same name. Our baby is Tobin for my husband’s grandfather Tobey (same root word, same meaning).
I don’t know if any of that is helpful, though! Can’t wait to see what you all pick!
June 13th, 2010 | #
Of course I love the name Michelle.
Amelia is one of our faves and has been a family name, so it has been on our list for our non existent kids. Ha! It’s such a pretty name.
June 13th, 2010 | #
We named our daughter Lorelei Jane. Explaining the Jane was easy, it’s her paternal grandmother’s name. The first name, however…I had picked out the name ages ago (pre-Gilmore Girls) and my husband fortunately also liked it but I get stabby whenever anyone asks me if I named her after the TV show. Sigh.
So, I’m with you on the nose-turner-uppers. No real advice on how to deal with it other than sighing on the inside and moving on. as long as you love the name, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
Kirsten´s last blog ..Words That End in -itis
June 13th, 2010 | #
My favorite name right now is Juliana or Julianne.. Shortened she would be Jules. Just my two cents. I’d use it for my future daughter (if I’m lucky to have one) but Evan’s family has WAY too many (Julia, Julie, Anjulia).. They all are for Ev’s grandmother. So, that’s out for me.
June 13th, 2010 | #
I HATE when people make a face/comment at a name for a baby. HATE IT! I’ve heard names I wouldn’t pick for my child(ren) but, I would never portray my dislike for a certain name. My theory is the makers of said child(ren) have all the power in naming the kid.
Morgan’s name can’t really be shortened. My FIL called her “Morg” for a while but, the kibosh was FASTLY put on that. It made me think of dead bodies and ewww…not cool. She’s been called “Morgie” by us and a few close friends–that doesn’t piss me off AS much.
Morgan Allyson is cute
Just sayin’. I’ve yet to encounter another Morgan.
My cousin named her daughter Juliana and they call her Jules or Juliana. Juliana Michelle is a good name, too.
Amelia is nice. Mia is great. I also love Alexis (my kid’s middle name); Ashton and Lilyana.
Kellie´s last blog ..In No Mood
June 13th, 2010 | #
Hmm… I love baby names. What about something like Alanna, Violet, Ruby, Shelby, Lucia, Paige, Harper, Willa, Lydia, Felicity, Mina, Mara, Piper, Raina, Shayla, Ada, Flora, Holly, or Maura. As for the naysayers, do what my friends are doing and say you have three chosen and you’ll decide after you meet her and you’re not telling anyone what they are because you want it to be her name and not influenced by other people.
June 13th, 2010 | #
I’ll admit that I got Tessa’s name from doing a blog post like this one. Someone suggested Tess as one of their former short list names…and while Tess didn’t hit me, Tessa obviously did. Not common but not weird. I had to talk my husband into it (he was set on Violet). Prior to that I wanted Sidney but my husband refused to consider anything with an “ey” sound ending because our last name ends with lee an that was too sing songy. I vetoed a lot of his suggestions because as a former social worker who worked with troubled folks, I had bad associations with a lot of names. We had a boy name all ready of course.
Blog friends names are fair game – too many would be off the table otherwise. Amelia and Mia are really popular in my area but it is a cute name.
Britney is ruined for a variety of reasons – not just the Spears ones. But the rest can be used I think.
Michelle Smiles´s last blog ..Aquafina Friday
June 13th, 2010 | #
We had nose turner uppers at all stages – people who thought we should use different middle names, different first names, not tell/yes, tell. And then there was the super awesome-ness of us naming our first daughter Julia after my mom and my husband’s maternal grandmother, who come to find out a) hated her own name and b) who my MIL hated in general. Awesome.
Cecilia and Julia’s first mom named thier middle names – things we could have NEVER come up with. Marcela and Siona. I love them both, although I would have never even thought of them.
For Amalia, (that’s close to Amelia, and we liked the possibilty of Molli, if she wanted) we had a dark haired name and blond haired name. Amalia was the dark haired name. Her hair was black at birth and 5 months later is corn silk blond. I still see her as an Amalia and not as a Ksenia – our blond, Polish name.
As a teacher, I love names that I can read in my classroom and are not crazy popular. My least favorite right now is (phnoetically) Annedreea/Andrea/Anndreah, etc… I never get it right.
June 13th, 2010 | #
Guuuurl, I’m SPENT from IM-ing with you about names
I do love Tessa though. I think I mentioned that.
samantha jo campen´s last blog ..Tidbits of this and that
June 13th, 2010 | #
Ok….I am all about TV names cause well, Im a big fan of TV….if and when I ever have kids here would be a list of the girl names I would be picking from…since I love ya, go ahead and pick! Oh but, if you decide on one of the names from my list, then you must tell me….ha!
-Alexandra/alex-love the fact that people may think shes a boy and not a girl…then she would kick has ass…..
-Emma-PIVOT!
-Audrianna
-Isabella/bella-actually did NOT get this from twilight….love the short-bella/beautiful..which I am sure she will be!
-miranda
-angelina
-avery-very waspy…very YOU! LOL…hmmm…i think you may have to consider avery!
-Addison-yes, straight up stole that from private practice…no worries though, shes not mad.
-Madison
Thats what I got! LOL….
June 13th, 2010 | #
Oh, names are hard. We didn’t find out the gender of our first and we had long lists for girls and hardly any choices for boys. We had a boy. We named him Kieran (no nicknames, no shortened version, not popular, not too weird). Next time around, we found out we were having a girl and suddenly none of the names on our long list seemed right. We ended up choosing between Alexa, Calla & Jemma. I really wanted Calla, but Leo wanted Alexa and was not keen on Calla. I didn’t mind Alexa and thought that the nickname Lexi wasn’t too bad. So that’s what we did.
But I still love the name Calla & I really want someone to use it as their daughter’s name. I suppose I’ll have to wait for another person to use it as it breaks your ‘hard C’ rule. Mia is more popular but I’ve only met one person named Mia in our part of the world. (Around here, Hannah is WAY more popular. I know of 6 kids under 4 named Hannah).
June 13th, 2010 | #
I state for the record that I love Emmie. I also like the name Bree.
June 14th, 2010 | #
My best friend had a baby girl yesterday – Ella Grace. LOVE IT. Lyla & Ella would be cute.
Other favorites of mine: Nora, Natalie, Charlotte, Leah.
bessie.viola´s last blog ..put me in, coach
June 14th, 2010 | #
How about Ruth? I love that name; it’s just so classic and beautiful. I also like Hannah, but that may be too common. What about Leah? Is that too close to Lyla? If our second son was a girl, the name would have been Eleanor — with the nickname of either Ella or Nora. I know you don’t like nicknames, but I like the repeating “a” sounds at the end for your daughters’ names. Ooo! What about Maura? Or Cara. I know, alliteration, but Cara Cain is really cute!
Cassie´s last blog ..friday tidbits (except i just realized it’s thursday. dangit!)
June 14th, 2010 | #
I think Sara/Sarah would go really nicely with your name and with Lyla- and it’s classic, but not being used as much anymore, it seems. I also like Tess, and I think Emily would be lovely with your name, too. I also love Margaret/Maggie (though obviously you’d have to love “Maggie” because with Margaret, I think nicknames are inevitable.) And Annabel is a favorite, too, and I can never use it since some close friends used it for their daughter, so I’d be delighted if someone else did!
pseudostoops´s last blog ..Karaoke: I have questions
June 14th, 2010 | #
Mackenzie!
June 14th, 2010 | #
Picking names SUCKS. If we ever have a boy, he won’t have a name until he’s 20 because the one boy name we ever have agreed on was stolen by my husband’s brother (Yes, stolen. And, yes, I’m still bitter, four years later.).
Good luck! I have no recommendations because I SUCK.
Burgh Baby´s last blog ..The One in Which I Reveal the Funnel Cake Recipe
June 14th, 2010 | #
I love Jillian. And it would’ve been my daughters name except for the fact that the sound of it is remarkably like our last name “jewel” (spelled differently) and at the time I thought that would be horrible. Jill Jewel? Meh, not so bad now that I’ve had ten years to reflect.
Still, I’m stuck on Jillian but I love Grace, Paige and Aimee/Am. Someone mentioned Charlotte and Ella – I’m liking those a lot too.
June 14th, 2010 | #
Let me start by saying that I haven’t been on your blog in FOREVER but am so glad I am now because I LOVE baby names!!! What a fun way to procrastinate!
Here’s what I came up with that isn’t easily shortened and sounds good with Cain … Riley, Emma, Isabel (could be Bella though), Piper … and my favorite, Zoey Michelle Cain. Cute, right?
June 14th, 2010 | #
People need to learn to shut their mouths about names. It is YOUR baby.
Girl names. I like Julianna (Jules) … was ALMOST Renee’s name. Cameron’s name would have been Camille if he was a girl and we’d call her Millie if we felt she needed a nickname which I LOVE still. But now I have a Cameron so I’ll never have a Camille
I also like Camilla. Lyra was also on the list because I love the Golden Compass books but you obviously can’t use that. I like Ellie, Phoebe (Catcher and the Rye reference, not Friends) and Caroline too.
June 14th, 2010 | #
No actual name advice, but I am firmly in the “don’t share the name” camp. People seem to be a little more nice when the name is attached to an actual BABY. The name we were going to use if the second was a girl was Charlotte, but that meets none of your criteria.
One other little thing – run the name through IMDB and maybe search for songs with the name in it. Around here Claire seems to be making a comeback, and maybe it’s my age but all I can think of when I hear the the name is a quote from “The Breakfast Club” – “Oh, it’s a fat girl’s name.” and I feel so bad for the girls with that quote out their about their name!
June 14th, 2010 | #
it sucks that they’re all getting pretty popular right now, but i think the ava/emma (and mia!) style names go really well with lyla, and are just so pretty on their own as well. as swistle has pointed out, though, even SUPER popular names are not so popular that literally one in every 10 kids is named that, though.. so while you may encounter a FEW other mia’s (etc) it’s unlikely that you’ll end up with multiples of one name in the same class any more than you would with another name just by coincidence.
i do think spears when i hear britney, but i know a girl named heidi and i’ve never thought pratt in reference to her
Alice´s last blog ..tales of clinic protestors, and june’s charity
June 14th, 2010 | #
I hate the nose-turner-uppers! After all the crap we took when we announced Keaton’s name before his birth I swore I wouldn’t do it this time around. But I’m bad at keeping secrets….I’ve learned to preface my announcment with “we have a little bit different style of naming” and so far people have been pretty good this time. I think it’s because 1) our girl name is the same name we had for Keaton, so everyone knows it and 2) I explain the family significance behind our boy’s name and people don’t seem to be THAT rude. At least not yet
Anyway, names that go with Lyla…this might be to close to Allyson but we have friends that recently named their little girl Alina. I think they thought they’d call her Ali or Lina but so far they haven’t shortened it, nor has anyone else. The pronuciation could be a problem, but I think the name is pretty. Other friends have had Ruby and Claire recently, both of which I also like. And pulling from some of the above suggestions I love Nora, Ada, Ava, and Ella. Ohh, I also like Audrey or Aubrey with Lyla.
Kate´s last blog ..32 Weeks
June 14th, 2010 | #
If my sister had a girl, she was going to name her Abigail or Isabel… I love both, but they are easily shortened. The other thing my sisters have done is carry through the Y – all the nephews have a Y in their names, even though the one now has a weirdly-spelled name. I think it’s cute! And with your name and Lyla’s, it could be a family tradition for you, too.
June 14th, 2010 | #
oh girl. That list you have up there? I FEEL YOUR PAIN. Especially the family thing. And I’ve wondered about the bloggie-friend rule too! There are a couple of names I really like, but a few very popular bloggers have named their daughters those names in recent years, so I’m not sure if it will seem like I’m copying. I’m NOT! I just like the names! I swear!
I can’t really share any secret names with you since we’re in the midst of our own Name Hunt… but maybe a few I know we won’t use that I love? Ella, Elise (actually Maggie’s middle name!), Rachel, Rebecca, Hannah, Anna.
GOOD LUCK!!
Jen´s last blog ..You Capture: Fun
June 14th, 2010 | #
This isn’t a name that I have ever considered until now, but for some reason while reading your post the name Olive popped in my head…just a thought!
June 14th, 2010 | #
My name is Julie and middle name is Ann so of course I think any form of that is GREAT. I must say though that I am seeing with my 3 year old’s activities that there are more Julia / Julianna than just plain Julie now a days. I like Tess / Tessa a lot. I know a 3 year old Olive and it really suits her, but not my favorite name – they also call her Ollie and I know you said no nicknames. I love Zoe – no matter how you spell it. I thought PomJo’s suggestion of using a y was neat – so you could go with Zoey like a pp said and I think it sounds really nice with Michelle or even Allyson if you want to name her after you! I actually loved the name game/choice but in the end we kept with our daughter’s birthname and just added a middle name, but we do call her by a nickname. We did get a lot of critiscm on some names (my mom hated Zoe) Sometimes I think we took the easy way out, but it worked for us and my daughter has the perfect name for her. I think the key is to choose a name you really love, because you will be saying a lot. Gosh this is a long comment for a fist time commentor – hope you don’t mind.
June 15th, 2010 | #
[...] were laying in bed on Tuesday night, I was working on a blanket for the baby who is nameless. I swore after Lyla’s blanket I would NEVER work on another knitting project as long as I [...]
June 17th, 2010 | #
Had Colin been a girl, he would have been Ilana Rose.
By the way, totally understand your “nothing starting with K or hard C” rule. Our last name starts with an H, which led me to rule out a whole bunch of ending consonants for our son’s name: specifically, anything that would attempt to usurp the H’s position. Pretending, for instance, that our last name was “Handy,” anything that ended in ‘s’, for instance, was right out: “Curtis Handy” would be heard by a lot of people as “Curtis Sandy.”
Jay´s last blog ..Auto-Pilot Program.
June 21st, 2010 | #