About The Old Me
I seriously need to stop watching The Biggest Loser.
I get all weepy at the first sign of someone else’s tears and/or joy. I listen to their stories, their triggers, their reasons. And it makes me sad. It makes me hurt for them.
It also inspires. Not in the way you’d think. I mean, I’m typically sitting there with a bowl of ice cream watching these people sweat their asses off. Literally. It inspires thought.
I’m not obese. I’m not a food addict. I haven’t had some horrible drama happen to me that I’ve been unable to deal with. I haven’t just “given up”. But there was a time not long ago where I paid a lot more attention to me. When I spent a lot of time focusing on my needs or what I thought were my needs back then.
I was far from a princess by definition, but my nails were done every two weeks, my toes were done every four, and every part of me was waxed. Regularly. On a calendar schedule. I also had quite a few pairs of jeans and shoes and bags that cost more than I’m willing to admit. That me is gone, much like the 400 lb people on Biggest Loser after three months of Bob and Jillian.
I think back on that perfectly manicured, waxed, highlighted person and while she was pretty and definitely thinner, she was missing something. Something a new Coach bag and pink nail polish wasn’t going to fix. There was a hole in her heart. A hole that was filled, overstuffed actually, on August 25, 2008. A hole that now has this in its place:
While I wouldn’t mind a guilt free shopping trip or pretty nails or toenails that don’t hurt in my shoes because they’re too long, I choose to spend that time (and money) with (on) my daughter and husband. I enjoy THEM far more than I enjoy hot wax being dripped on me in places hot wax should never be dripped (unless you’re in to that, in which case, Hey! Enjoy yourself, Buddy!). I hate being away from my family (this fact blows a lot of minds) and I choose to put time with them ahead of things I used to think I needed.
And I think I’m happier for it.
*****
Click out of your reader to see the new header! Thanks to Cass for taking the photos and putting it together and to my husband for the holiday theme idea!
A) You have SUCH a gorgeous family. Just beautiful. And happy.
B) I think about all of the “sacrifices” too. Having my hair colored, getting my nails done, buying new clothes every paycheck. It’s funny to look back at who we were and imagine that we were actually “happy” back then, isn’t it?
Sarah Lena´s last blog ..pleeze to halp wit da sleepytihme
December 2nd, 2009 | #
LOVE the new header. Thanks for posting this on Twitter – you totally pulled me away from work. I can completely relate to this post. I used to care so much more about me – the nails, hair, clothing, exercise, etc….now? Not so much. Sure I’ll get my toes done occasionally. My hair gets done when I have a) time and b) money (which is never and never – you should get a load of my roots right now!) and I’m more into clothing that is comfortable (elastic pants are probably not too far away) than what’s “in.”
And who do I have to blame for this “new” me? Two boys named Will and Beckett. And I wouldn’t change that for anything!
December 2nd, 2009 | #
I’ve had the same paradigm shift in my life, and even though sometimes I throw a little pity party about how little time I have for myself, I, like you, prefer the new me wouldn’t trade what I have for anything.
Jessie´s last blog ..Times like this make me happy I have a child who hates to have her hands dirty
December 2nd, 2009 | #
LOVE the header! Fun holiday theme and the photos are gorgeous (of course)!
Funny how the “me” becomes so much less important while the “we” soars to the top of the list, eh? Kids/Family changes everything…in a good way.
Dee´s last blog ..20ish Months
December 2nd, 2009 | #
Cute!
And I think most of us were better coiffed and accessorized pre-children. I haven’t had a haircut since April and I need one badly…my daughter has had 3 in that time. I just keep reminding myself what a short season in my life this is.
Michelle Smiles´s last blog ..The neighbors are looking at us funny
December 2nd, 2009 | #
That is great! I love it. You’re right… there’s something about buying and having all of those nice things but it’s SO temporary and it doesn’t give us the “fix” we’re really needing. I watch the Biggest Looser eating a microwave brownie with peanut butter and think that is SO dumb, and it inspires me too. I just can’t stick with a darn thing and I have to admit that I probably AM a food adict. I’m not big by any standards and some people would strangle me right now for even thinking I could shed some lbs., but… it’s what’s going on in the mind. It’s such a stronghold!
Good for you. Focus on the right things, on eternity.
December 2nd, 2009 | #
Oh sweetie!
THIS is what I was trying to tell you way back when that day we had lunch in the conference room, just you and me. You’ve learned that all (most of) that shiite you held so dear/important back then falls off the radar of things that fill your heart with utter joy, satisfaction, and pride compared to hearing that child of yours hystericlally laugh in that innocent way only babies can. The petty things that annoyed you when it was just you and your EHH? These days you’ll find yourself going “Meh” more often about them as they don’t seem to be as world-ending as they once did the longer you are married.
Congrats my silly – you have earned your first stripes toward the badges of being a mature, loving, and strong wife and mom. Those of us who walked before you welcome you to the club with open arms and sympathetic ears.
For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you.
December 2nd, 2009 | #
Love the new header!!! nice work…
December 2nd, 2009 | #
Love the new header Al. Very sweet!
lilfootsmommy´s last blog ..Why is it?
December 2nd, 2009 | #
Sounds like your priorities put you on the Nice list this year. Beautiful post… beautiful family.
December 2nd, 2009 | #
I love (love love LOVE!) the new banner. The photos, the holiday theme, the “naughty list” — all freaking awesome! Equally awesome? Seeing the growth in yourself, how far you’ve come, how much you’ve learned, the changes you’ve made for the better. When I look back on the last three years and compare them to the six years before that, I almost don’t recognize that other girl–and I can’t wait to see what comes next.
Dawn´s last blog ..I Want Wednesday: December 2, 2009
December 3rd, 2009 | #
I love the new look for the holidays!
I have felt this shift too. I used to be a big purse collector, and there was no way you’d get me out of the house in less than an hour.
Now it’s just… different. I think those tendencies are still there, lurking, but not really present any longer. It’s a good feeling.
bessie.viola´s last blog ..“sleep now!”
December 11th, 2009 | #