Sage
She was my dog. I got her after college. It was too early. I wasn’t ready for such responsibility, but I wanted a dog. I wanted her.
As a puppy, she was my baby. We went everywhere together; to the bank, to the store, for rides in the car. She loved the car. The bank was her favorite stop. She always got a biscuit at the bank.
After the first year, my life changed. I had been working out of the house and I was able to hang out with her non-stop, but when I accepted a job that required an hour commute and frequent travel, my life was no longer conducive to having a dog. It wasn’t fair to her.
Luckily, my Dad would take her whenever I had to travel for business. He had an older Golden, Casey. They loved to wrestle and play and swim in the lake. They were best friends and Sage was always sad when I would pick her up. Eventually I decided she was happiest there.
My step-mother was home all day providing them with constant human companionship. They were both family members. So loved. So important to us.
Casey passed away in 2004 due to complications from an aggressive tumor he had on his back. He never showed that he was in pain, but the tumor was so big that it had to have affected his comfort. We were all devastated when he passed. And it was obvious that she was too. Sagie’s buddy was gone. She was so sad.
When my life changed again and I was no longer traveling, no longer renting, and settled in my own house, I considered taking Sage back. But my Dad, step-mother, and brother were so close to her. It wouldn’t have been fair to them. Despite not having Casey around, she was still happy as she could be curled up on the couch in the sun in the winter or digging a hole in the dirt under the bushes that line my Dad’s yard.
When my step-mother died suddenly last year, I worried about Sage being alone all day. But she always greeted me with the same energy; tail at full wag and squealing with joy. She loved hanging out on the hill by the garage watching my Dad and brother work on my brother’s car. Aside from the arthritis in her hips that gave her a hard time getting up when she’d been asleep for a while and made it difficult to navigate the hardwood floors at times, she was healthy and happy. And her same old self.
She hated the 4th of July. The fireworks always scared her. Thunderstorms too. More often than not my Dad or brother would come home to find a few lamps tipped over in the living room and a huddled mass of golden fur shaking in the bathtub. This year with the 4th looming and thunderstorm season upon us, she won’t have to be scared.
She passed away last night just before midnight in the company of my Dad and brother who loved her so much. She would’ve been 10 years old on Friday. I collapsed in tears this morning when I heard the news and couldn’t even fight them back long enough to drop Lyla off at daycare without getting 20 questions from her teachers as to why I was upset. I started thinking about why people like me attach themselves to animals and love them in ways we never thought imaginable. I think it’s because they can’t hurt us…
…until they’re gone.
And then it hurts like hell.
For those of you thinking, “It’s just a dog!”. (MOM!) You’re right. It is just a dog. But she was also a friend. And unconditional love giver who, on your worst day could make you smile when she rounded the corner with a green tennis ball/rope/squeaky toy stuffed in her mouth squealing with glee that you came to see her.
I love you forever, Sagie girl. I take comfort that you and Casey are running around wrestling, chasing squirrels, swimming, and playing tug-o-war together once again. You will be missed.





