Top Five Things On Probation
I’m having that, I’m so just OVER this, kind of feeling. While I’m sure you want nothing to do with my incessant whining, I need to get this out. See the red ‘x’ up there? Go for it. I won’t be offended.
1. eBay. I do not have much experience with eBay. I’ve only ever purchased one thing and I used the BuyIT Now link because the whole bidding thing just seemed like too much pressure. Last night I bid on a “LOT” of Maternity clothes. I’m desperate for more than four things that fit. DESPERATE. However, I’m way too lazy to go to the store and shop. There’s just no time for that. Anyway – eBay. I was “winning” up until “<1m remaining" in the auction and then all of a sudden? I'm outbid! By $1! And there's NO LINK ANYWHERE for me to put in another bid! So. I'm done with you, eBay. D-U-N Done.
2. Pay Pal. Yes, it really is me. Yes, I’m sure. No, I don’t really know why you STILL have that old credit card under my maiden name on file when I’ve gone through the process of updating it no less than a DOZEN TIMES. You and your super security shit is far too advanced for even the real me to get through! Good luck thieves. Thieve away. That card hasn’t worked in two years.
3. Antibiotics. It’s bad enough that I was prescribed you for my sinus/ear infection. It’s bad enough that after taking those antibiotics, I was diagnosed with Strep B and prescribed MORE antibiotics. Stronger ones. For, you know, laughs or some shit. It’s now officially FUCKED UP that I’m feeling the beginnings of a yeast infection which can only be directly attributed to these demon pills. Can you see me stamping my feet and whining that it’s not fair? Can you? Because my husband sure can. And I can tell you that he’s pretty damn sick of it already.
4. Winter. I know, I know. I just got back from the beach. I’m extra pissy about the cold, but March? Couldn’t you cut me a little slack? What the hell? Twenty-SIX degrees. ICE on the road. I’m done! Done with below freezing temps. Done with that little snowflake on the dashboard of my car. Done with the words “wind-chill factor”. Done with the fact that most of my sweaters are just not fitting over the belly protrusion no one but me can see. GO. AWAY.
5. The words, “But you don’t even LOOK pregnant!”. Seriously? Who says this? What do I look like? Like I’ve been on a three-week beer bender? Like I ate an entire box of rigatoni? I swear I’m not making this shit up! The heartburn? The nausea? The bizarro dreams? The fact that my incredible husband cooks an amazing, healthy, tasty, steamed meal and I have two bites and am unable to get the rest down for no real reason at all? I am REALLY not making this up. I swear there’s a kid in there. I swear I pee 3-5 times during the night. I swear that noise you hear is really coming from my belly.
I hope to have a more positive outlook on life tomorrow. Notice I said “hope” and not “promise”.
In fact, the only thing I can promise is that there is a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats in my future.
1. Ebay? Feck it. It is on its way down anyway and totally overrated. Never used it and never will.
2. PayPal LOL at their security shit. You can’t change your details? They are really taking things seriously.
3. Sorry you feel crappy. Hope you will be better soon. Probably has to do with the neverending 4. stupid winter we never had. When I am being eaten by mosquitos and bugs think of me and laugh because we had no real winter to kill those little suckers.
5. Take it as a compliment. I am sure they mean well.
Kat’s last blog post..Everyone’s Irish on March 17th – Happy Paddy’s Day
March 18th, 2008 | #
The only thing worse then number 1 and number 2 is a Number 1 + a Number 2.
The only thing worse then a number 5 is to hear people say “HOLY COW you got big ALL of a sudden….seriously – you look GIGANTIC. When did this happen. Are you due in May?” I flipped someone off last night at the club for a statement that was very much like this. I then smiled cutely but I told him it wasn’t smart to say SHIT like that to a pregnant women that can still throw FREE WEIGHTS especially when you PISS her OFF.
So yeah, I think maybe we need some pickles.
Cass’s last blog post..Ode to the Mix Tape
March 18th, 2008 | #
You heard my ebay/paypal thoughts yesterday. Used to love Ebay – now not so much.
Antibiotics? I’m stuck taking 2 a day every day until I deliver. Oh so happy about that and betting that in the future they won’t work when I need them and I’ll die from an infection from a papercut or something.
Winter – I shouldn’t complain because it really is much warmer down here so I’ll shut up even though it is making me grumpy.
Pregnant – they think it is a compliment but to me it just means that I look fat.
Michelle’s last blog post..Happy St. Patrick’s Day
March 18th, 2008 | #
Today someone told me I was way bigger than the other girls in my exercise group who are all ahead of me by at least 3 weeks, one is due Sunday! When you get pregnant you have to be prepared for the random crap that people feel like hurling on you, intending to be nice but actually being mean. Also, FYI (in case no one has warned you), women (and sometimes men) decide that when you are 8-10 mons pregnant is a good time to tell you their terrible birth story!
Melanie’s last blog post..A profile
March 18th, 2008 | #
That ebay lot thing blows.
The pregnant comment? So dumb. Who ARE these people? I got, in the SAME day: “Wow, you’re so tiny you should be a pregnancy model” then five minutes later by someone else “Holy crap are you having twins? You’re HUGE!” So you just can’t win.
samantha jo campen’s last blog post..Theo’s Birth Story Part One
March 18th, 2008 | #
Enjoy the mini-wheats
Caroline’s last blog post..Don’t “Let it Snow”
March 19th, 2008 | #
I have had good luck for the most part on eBay. Of course I’ve only gotten a few items. My Trot Nixon jersey. And a few Hallmark Christmas ornaments. I *detest* Paypal though. I’m sorry about the after effects of the antibiotics; those things are terrible. (Oh the joys of being a girl.) I am sure the Winter feels even worse after being in Florida too. I would box you up some sunshine & about twenty degrees if I could! As for those cretins that say you don’t even look pregnant? Clearly you like awesome & they are just jealous that they couldn’t look that good *while* being pregnant. =P
Dawn’s last blog post..excuse me while i do a jig
March 19th, 2008 | #
whenever I get an antibiotic Rx, I always insist on a Diflucan, too. And I think it’s safe when pregnant. Ask your Dr.
BTW, you really don’t look that pregnant, little Miss Parakeet!
March 19th, 2008 | #
I used to love the whole informality of ebay…now it’s like everyone is operating a business over there – it lost the feel good vibe. Never really had a paypal problem *knocks on wood* Sickness? Ugh. Sickness while pregnant? Double the ugh. Winter – total and complete ripoff this year. Cold and rainy just doesn’t do it for me. And not looking pregnant now is much better than still looking pregnant five months (or years, whose counting) after you have the baby.
jenny’s last blog post..Giant Time Suck
March 20th, 2008 | #