Paging Emily Post
The first words I uttered when I woke up this morning?
“I’m STARVING!”
I think we’re officially past the nausea stage.
The newest development? Violent mood swings.
This morning I needed to stop for gas on my way to work. I always go to the same station — not always because of prices, but more because it’s got a lot of open space, not too many creepy truck driver types, and TV’s at every pump that show me the weather forecast among other short news clips. It’s a rather large gas station with two rows of pumps on either side of the building itself. I always like to follow gas station rules and pull up to the pump furthest from me. I also like to be facing out towards the road. It just makes things symmetrical. And pretty.
There had been a white minivan behind me all the way down the hill. I noticed it too pulled into the station behind me. I lost sight of it when I drove around the building to the opposite side (because the pumps on the side I entered on were occupied). However, when I went to pull up to the furthest pump, Ms. Minivan came flying around the corner and we ended up nose to nose. She broke TWO rules of gas station etiquette! AT ONE TIME. This completely got me heated.
We both pumped gas at our own pumps simultaneously while I composed what I was going to say to her before I left. I knew I would have to reverse away from the pumps if she didn’t finish before I did and since I was almost sure her van had a bigger tank than little Bea, I was pretty much convinced I would have to go backwards. I HATE going backwards. In this situation it was even more dangerous since the corner of the building was right there and the chances of me getting hit by some idiot flying around the corner from behind the building was a real possibility. I stared at her. In an unfriendly way. I wouldn’t stop staring. People that know me know that I have looks that really are capable of murder.
My pump shut off first. I put the nozzle back and slowly walked around the car to get back in. As I did that, her pump shut off. Since the driver side was on the same side as her tank, we both ended up getting into the cars at the same time. I stalled. I took some garbage out of my car and brought it up to the trash can next to the building. I looked up – she was doing the same! What the hell was this? A battle of the I Will Not Be The One To Reverse Wit?
Twisted, I gave in. I cursed her up and down as I backed up mumbling how it would be completely her fault if I got hit. As I pulled around the other set up of pumps and our cars were even – driver side to driver side – I put my window down and yelled,
“YOU. Are. DOING. IT. WRONG!”
I caught her so off guard, startled she dropped the two empty bottles of water she had been transporting to the trash and looked at me like I had just recently escaped the Looney Bin. Without further explanation, I drove off.
And then I proceeded to laugh and roll my eyes at myself for getting so upset about something so stupid. Then I blamed the baby. Then I got kicked in the bellybutton.
Karma? Can really suck sometimes.
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Since you all were so awesome in sharing your favorite fashion faux-pas’ (and making me feel better about mine!), tell me this: Do you have bizarre Small Stuff type things that get you fired up? What makes you angry that would make someone else say, “You’re getting all upset about nothing.”? Keep the sharing going!
That whole scenario would have made me CRAZY.
Here’s my big car pet peeve… when people leave their blinker on.
It makes me NUTS. Like, completely batshit nutty. I blame my mother who has done that since I was a small child. I would wake up when on a roadtrip from a dead sleep and call from the backseat “mom! your blinker is on!” AND IT WAS.
Oh god, it annoys me so much just thinking about it. LOL!
March 4th, 2008 | #
When people slam their brakes on to move into the turn lane. The turn lane is there so that you are out of my f-ing way before you slow down! I have shit to do!!!!
March 4th, 2008 | #
When people don’t signal to change lanes, when people don’t hold doors for you (this might be my BIGGEST pet peeve).. and finally, when Evan chews with his mouth open while eating potato chips. I know he does it on purpose now just to piss me off even more. LOL
March 5th, 2008 | #
I’m surprised there aren’t more blog entries about gas stations. The places are infuriating! I usually stop at the same station when I visit my parents, for it is the cheapest in the land. This particular time was especially busy; all the pumps were taken. So I pull up behind the person I voted most likely to leave next. She finishes pumping and goes inside. For 10 minutes. Turns out she was hungry and oblivious to the line of cars waiting. So she ORDERED A SUB!!! When she returned, I told her what I thought of her thoughtlessness.
So, rest assured, you’re not alone when it comes to yelling at people at gas stations. I didn’t even have a pregnancy to blame.
March 5th, 2008 | #
I call that the bad kick. I figure my little babe either knows that what I’ve done is bad….or she likes that it’s bad. Either way this kid is more like me every day.
March 5th, 2008 | #
My first thought? You over-reacted and it made me chuckle. But then you asked about my buttons and I have to fess up that I am equally irrational about silly things.
I hate it when people cruise in the left lane at the same speed than the right. GET OUT OF MY WAY!!
I hate it when there is a line forming and someone refuses to stand in it and stands kind of off to the side – it gets all confused and no one knows who is next.
I hate it when someone gets in line at an order at the counter food place without knowing what they want to order – stand aside until you decide so the hungry pregnant woman can be fed!
March 5th, 2008 | #
That is pretty aggravating. Mine is even more ridiculous. I hate when someone closes a closet or cabinet door *almost*. I mean for crying out loud. You were right there, actually going through the effort of closing said door. And you left it open a half inch?! Seriously. One or the other. If you’re not going to close, just leave it open.
March 5th, 2008 | #
oh. my. god. you crack me up! um, i get super pissed at people that can’t drive. if i’m having a bad day – god forbid someone drive slow (or the speed limit for that matter), pull out in front of me and cut me off, pass on the right, etc. drive like me people – i’m awesome! hahaha! i’m sure there are a ton of other things that annoy me, but i’ll have to think about it. i’m still laughing about your post!
March 5th, 2008 | #
Giggle giggle… this is fantastic! Nice to meet you, I’m off to read more!
xox
March 6th, 2008 | #
I would have won the battle of no reverse (lol) because those things forever happen to me! I didn’t use to stand my ground as much before but sure do now – and it feels right/good when doing it
March 7th, 2008 | #
See, around here we all have to be facing the same way. It’s the law, even.
I LOVE that you yelled at her. I’m still laughing
March 7th, 2008 | #
Sorry about the mood swings but at least you’re past the puking!
March 7th, 2008 | #
OMG, haha! I have gas station phobia as well. I don’t like when they’re crowded and I have a fear of not being able to get to a pump. Weird! I feel that drivers (in general) are just getting worse and worse as in dumber and dumber. Ok, when it’s raining..people it’s NOT ice, in the summer. Duh! Sprinkles do not constitute going 25 mph. Sorry! I CAN’T STAND 4-way stops. I swear that nobody knows how to use them or what the rules are. I wish for a big megaphone on my vehicle that delivers into people’s cars so I can tell them what I’m thinking. Instead, I try and use my blog for that.
March 11th, 2008 | #
The dishwasher. There is a Right Way and a Wrong Way to load it. Do it right and we’ll be all good.
Bryan leaves his closet doors open. I hate it because it’s the first thing you see when you look into our bedroom from the hall. SHUT IT!
If the baby wipes container isn’t shut all the way and they dry out. OMFG. Makes me BATTY.
But I’m OCD so this list could go on all day. I’ll stop here before I get REALLY fired up over something ‘little’
March 17th, 2008 | #