“Hey.”

“Who’s this?”

“Funny.”

“I didn’t talk to you all day!”

“Busy. Office. Moving.”

“BUT I’M GOING CRAZY!”

“Well, where are we going tonight?”

“I don’t care! Just out! PLAY WITH ME!”

“You’re so whiney!”

“I’m BORED! I had no one to talk to all day. THESE CATS DON’T TALK!”

“Thank God! If they did, you’d have no use for me!”

“Oh, I could think of some things you’re good for.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep! Like lifting heavy stuff!”

“Sigh.”

Here are things that aren’t at all related nor qualify for their own dedicated blog entry:

Why We Don’t Have Nice Things

On my way to work yesterday morning, a rock flew off of a septic truck and hit my car. My new car. My new car that isn’t even a week old yet. My new car that isn’t even a week old yet and is BLACK. Black shows EVERYTHING! Yep. That one.

The damage is a scratched hood and two nicks in the windshield. And me being extremely pissed off, of course. Why can’t anything I have ever remain new looking for any length of time? It’s so true. I just break shit. Constantly. What’s going to happen when I have a kid? Will I break that too? Probably.

Anyway, it’s not as if it’s a huge dent or a spidered windsheild that requires me to stay on hold for hours with an insurance company and be inconvenienced while I wait to get it fixed. It’s just not perfect anymore. But then again, neither am I.

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I’m A Pillar Of Health

This is about what I eat when I work from home on Friday’s and there’s no food in the house because grocery shopping is one of my least favorite activities. On Friday’s, I’m too terrified to leave the house in case someone at work needs me and I lose my work from home privileges because I didn’t answer them fast enough and it gets back to Boss who will think that I was goofing off, like, out buying something to nourish my brain, instead of working.

First, let me start by saying that I drank my last Diet Coke last night. I did this knowingly. I knew that it would force me to leave the house and go to the store today. It would force me to plan ahead. To get up early enough to get enough work done that I could take a planned lunch break and run downtown to shop.

Yeah. Right.

Second, let me note that I try to obseve Lent to the best of my ability. I gave up pasta this year so the boxes and boxes of back-up food in my pantry couldn’t play today. I’m not sure why I still observe Lent. I’m in no way a good Catholic. But I guess I still hang on to the fact that I just might have a small shot at heaven so I do my best during these 40 days and 40 nights.

Who am I kidding. I’m going straight to the hot place. But it won’t be caving in on my Lenten promise.

Anyway, this morning the heat-pump man came so we could sign a contract on our heating and AC unit. Now, in case anything breaks, we won’t face a four-million-eight-thousand-dollar bill. Or something. So, Mr. Heat-Pump Man threw my day off a bit.

No Diet Coke. No eggs. No bread. No cheese. Nothing in this house.

Here’s what I ate today:

Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch with Milk (Shared milk with Rara)
A bag of boil-in-bag rice. With butter. And salt.
Salt ‘n’ Vinegar Potato Chips
Sliced Green Apple with Peanut Butter
A Twinkie

Mmmm. Mom would be so proud.

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EHH and I have a date tonight. We’re going to see Shooter. I heart Marky Mark. I’ll be sure to continue my healthy diet day by getting an extra large popcorn with butter and salt and a giant Diet Coke. Oh, and maybe some Sour Patch Kids.

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EHH runs his 5K on Sunday. Wish him luck! I’ll be sure to post pics. Hope it does NOT rain on me, the happy supportive Wife observer type.

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Thesis presentation scheduled for Wednesday, April 4 at lunch-time! I’m hoping that scheduling it on my niece’s 9th birthday will bring me luck. Jamey! Send good thoughts to Auntie!

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Have a nice weekend everyone!

This scares the crap out of me yet I continue to watch it. Each time I do, my heart leaps into my throat. Why does it feel good to be scared?

What’s wrong with me?

I can’t seem to complete one, single task today. Or yesterday for that matter. I feel like I’m in first grade the week before Christmas when not only Santa was coming to visit, but so was Mema and Pop! I could never pay attention and was always in trouble. Mrs. Pavlak didn’t really have a whole lot of patience for me around that time of year. One time I heard my Mom telling her that I was probably just overly excited to see my Grandparents. I remember totally agreeing with her. I gazed up at her through my coke-bottle glasses and all while hopping on one foot said, “Yeah Mommy. You’re right. I am in trouble because I can’t wait to see Meem! When will they get here?” Because, really Ma, how can you be mad at me? I’m 6! And I’m so cute! And after all, I’m just excited! See my braids? Count how long I can hop on one foot!

Anyway, back to present day. This is how I feel. Still sporting the coke bottle glasses, but traded in the braids a while ago, I can’t sit still. I’m in and out of my seat wandering aimlessly and striking up conversations with non-English speakers just to test out my nine years of Spanish classes.

My head is spinning about lots of things. I need to put together my oral presentation and put grad school to bed. The paper is totally complete. The dean sent it back today with a couple changes — none of which required any re-writing, but really highlighted my love to use commas when I really, don’t, need them. I wrote back to her with suggested dates for the presentation and I’m waiting for confirmation.

I think about how my new car really isn’t that great on gas. If I don’t go broke on payments alone, I might go broke trying to put gas in the thing. Oh, AND the tank is smaller AND I can’t use regular. (Damn luxury cars!) But other than that, it totally rocks and I LOVE driving it. I’ve actually been getting to work on time because I wake up happy to drive in! Trust me, this too will pass. Probably before Friday.

I think about how much I miss my husband during the day. I think about how as much as I love my job, I’d really rather be hanging out on the couch with him watching stupid television and making each other laugh. Or just laying there with my head on his chest, calm as can be and more content than ever.

But I’m not distracted because I have nothing to do. I have plenty. I have more than should really be allowed to fit into an eight hour day. And I am making small headway every now and then, but more or less I just space out or do laps around the floor to stay awake.

Maybe I’ll ask someone to count how many times I can hop on one foot…

… is when you have to pee so bad that you don’t bother to check to see if there is an adequate toilet paper supply before squatting and when, lo-and-behold, there is not and you debate whether or not to a – scream or 2 – cry or d – attempt to waddle bare-assed to the next stall praying no one walks in and that nothing drips down your leg in the process, when all of sudden you hear the unmistakable sound of the cleaning lady on her daily rounds and, simultaneously, the hum of angles singing in your ear.

“Excuse me?  Um.  There’s no toilet paper in here.”

“Ay?  No hablo ingles…”